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Member's Minutes

4/2/2017

1 Comment

 
Dear Fellow Parishioners,

With the events of these last few months with the deaths of persons like Mr. Kelly, Miriam Moses and Pat Couture and now, with the illness of Sr. Jolene, I just felt compelled to write to all of us.   These have been difficult months and difficult weeks.  We cannot imagine our beloved Sr. Jolene, unable to talk and unable to get up and get around.  Mr. Kelly and Miriam were mainstays in our parish, along with many others who have gone before them.  Sr. Bev reminded me that change happens and oftentimes, we don’t like the change and we don’t know how to adapt to the changes when they come into our lives.  I think this is true for all of us at one or more times in our lives.  I went to a Memorial Service last week for a 47 year old man who committed suicide leaving a wife, 2 young children, his parents and a sister and host of other family and friends as evidenced by the attendance at the service.  Our first question when something like this happens is “why” and “what did I miss”, if you were close to the person.  One of the main themes that came through a speaker from “Kevin’s Song”, John and Gail Urso’s Foundation for their son, stated ‘it is not anyone’s fault’.  The pastor at the Church which held the Memorial Service, got up and spoke and he stated ‘it is not the fault of anyone that this happened.’

I was taught long ago by my mother, that ‘good does come out of bad’, but that we don’t always see it right away.  That is the way I am feeling about Sr. Jolene and her stroke and her having to move to the Motherhouse.  Intellectually, I know this is the right thing for Sr. Jolene at this point in time.  In my heart, I am angry and hurt and all of the other feeling one has when someone we care about is hurt in some way.

The point I would like to make in writing this article is that we are here at Nativity are as family.  We would and do help each other out every day, whether it is by a telephone call to see how someone is doing, a ride to church each Sunday for taking someone grocery shopping during the week.  That is what families do.  Families also hold each other tightly when something happens within that family.  It does not throw its’ hands up in the air and quit functioning.  It is my prayer for our Nativity family that we hold together, that we fight for what is right and just and that we speak up when necessary, to let our feeling be known so that perhaps others will have the courage to do so.  We will get through this difficult time and I believe in my heart that Sr. Jolene will be able to come back and visit us when the time comes.  The Nativity Family is a strong family who cares about each other and we will make it through this current crisis.

Peace,
​

Mary Ellen White
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Member's Minutes

2/3/2017

2 Comments

 
Dear Friends:

Have you ever heard about the proverbial “ELEPHANT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM”?  Everybody pretends it isn’t there so we talk around it and ignore it!  Well, this saying refers to a condition, an event, a situation or a task which we do not want to face or even admit that it’s there!  But pretty soon the elephant (that situation we don’t address) comes crashing through the door; and the what??  We are forced to look at it head on.  Pretty hard to ignore an approaching elephant for very long!

ONE OF THE GREATEST GIFTS WE CAN LEAVE OUR FAMILY AND LOVED ONES WHEN WE DIE IS OUR PLANNED FUNERAL.  Now how about THAT for an elephant?  Several years ago Fr. Jerry asked a few parishioners to form a committee to assist people to do this with the aid of a form to fill out and use of a book which has suggested reading and hymns.  (This book is left in the church) The idea is that your celebration will fit who you are, what your legacy is, and YOU’D like to have read and sung at your liturgical celebration.  As we all know and have experienced, the time immediately surrounding the death of a loved one, whether expected or nor, is a highly stressful time.  But if the family and priest know what you have requested and relief of having this already in place is almost palpable; it is such a relief to all involved AND they will also be so happy that all of this is in writing; no guessing what hymns were your favorite or what readings would be appropriate for you.  It is a well known fact that people just cannot make good judgments and/or decisions at this time of grieving and loss.  Having done Hospice Nursing for many years and gave me and others great insight into the beauty and necessity of this arrangement.

​Many of our Hospice patients had already don this even before they came into the program.  It has been a few years since the committee urged all of us to plan our funerals; make a copy for your loved ones and give one to the rectory, if Nativity is where you will have having your funeral.  Those of you who have already done this may want to update your copy.  And congratulations to you for taking that step!  It is so important.  Forms will be available in Church; take one or two home and if you have not already thought about this important step in your ”journey,” I urge you to make this a commitment and follow through!  In other words, don’t take it home and put it on the dining room table never to be seen again!  It might be easier to carry this out if you think of it as a GIFT!! And it truly will be. God bless you!
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Member's Minutes

2/7/2016

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Going Deeper Into Lent
From the time we were children, our question for Lent was, “What are you giving up for Lent?” Giving something up for these 40 days helped us enter into the season with a sense of purpose and a greater awareness. As adults, we might want to consider looking at Lent in a deeper way. Sometimes giving up something is where we begin—and end- - our reflections on Lent. It can be tempting so say “I am giving up chocolate” or beer or even all sweets and all alcohol. But without more reflection, it can become simply a way I show God how strong I am.

Lent isn’t simply about us “giving up” something. The real grace is when we recognize that Lent is a season in which God wants to give us something. God wants to help us transform our lives and make us more free as people – not just freer with God, but in the way we live our lives and love our families. It is much easier for us to simply choose something to give up—then we can dismiss Lent! We give it up and exercise our will power for 40 days to prove to ourselves and to God that we can do it. And at the end of Lent we can return to what we gave up.

Each of us can think of something that gets in the way of our being loving and self-sacrificing As I reflect, I might realize that changing a particular way I live is coming to me as a call from God and I don’t have to do it alone. God is moving my heart to reflect on these changes and God will remain faithful and help me to stay open to the grace being offered to me for change. It may be something that I don’t want to change or acknowledge. I don’t think I can change it. But that’s where talking to God can make the difference. I am not doing this along; I am doing it with God.

I asking God for help, we might ponder one of the many healing gospels, like Mark 2:1-12. A group of friends carried a mat with a paralyzed man to Jesus, by lowering him through the roof. The friends on the roof had “broken through” the tiles to lower their friend into the house for healing. Their breakthrough led directly to the healing.

Where do we need a breakthrough? What is the barrier that keeps us from asking for healing? In our own lives, we need to break through our denials, defensiveness and our unwillingness to look at ourselves. Discovering what the barrier is in my life is critical. If we don’t know what the barrier is these weeks of Lent are a great time to reflect upon it. When we identify the barrier, we have made the breakthrough. That’s when Jesus can heal us of it. (Adapted from Creighton University’s Home Page

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Member's Minutes

1/24/2016

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FAILURE IS GREAT TEACHER IN SECOND HALF OF LIFE.
Came across a 2004 article from the Michigan Catholic, written by an Oblate priest, Fr. Ron Rolheiser, who is a famous theologian and authored award winning books. Since I could not reprtint the whole article I took the liberty of printing what I thought were the most important lines.
​

During the second half of life success no longer teaches us anything. It still feels good but we don’t learn from it. Now we learn more from failure. Several years ago I was homilizing on the “Martha and Mary” story, where Mary sits at the feet of Jesus doing nothing while her sister Martha is busy with all the necessary task of hospitality and serving. Martha asks Jesus to reprimand Mary for her inactivity but Jesus, in a now famous phrase tells her “MARY HAS CHOSE THE BETTER PART.” In my teaching I had quoted some pretty credible sources: Mother Theresa, Henri Nouwen, Jean Vanier, all of whom point out that we need to develop our sense of self-worth not from what we do, but from what we are, name from our innate dignity as human beings. WHAT WE ARE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAT WHAT WE DO. It’s dangerous to rely on achievement and success to feel good about ourselves. A man approached me after the service and asked me “Have you ever noticed that the people who tell us that it isn’t important to achieve anything are most great achievers? Mother Theresa has won a Nobel Prize; Henri Nouwen has written more than fifty books and receives invitations from all over the world. It’s easy, I suppose to feel good about yourself after you’ve done something; but how am I to feel good about myself when I have not done a thing to impress anyone?” He makes an important point, namely that there is a season for everything, including achievement and success. A healthy self image is just not handed to us on a platter. Part of our tasks as youths is to do the kinds of things that not only build up the world, but also help to build up ourselves. Some things in our first half of life are mandated; such as being in the work force; caring for our family; paying a mortgage; giving ourselves to serve others which also gives meaning to our lives. It isn’t our time then to just sit at the feet of Jesus. They why does success lose its importance in the second half of life? First, to rely on success to feel good about ourselves could be at some point like a cancer…then we have to continue this pattern (which is impossible to do). Too often success can inflate our ego rather than mellow the soul. Aging is a time for grieving, forgiving, letting go, accepting vulnerability, and moving beyond the greed, ambition, competitiveness, and perpetual disappointment of our youth. No longer do we need to prove anything in our second half of life; our task now is to become selfless beyond proving anything, least of all our own worth. A healthy dose of failure is helpful in teaching us this. Success always feels good but at a certain age it no longer works its magic. That does not mean it’s wrong to continue to be successful; IT ONLY IS WRONG WHEN WE NEED TO SUCCEED TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT OURSELF! (I love this article because it strikes a chord!! Especially the part about “elders” not having to prove our worth). Hope you also have a new insight from Fr. Ron’s article! May our God continue to have His/Her way with all of us!
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Member's Minutes

1/10/2016

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No loud without quit, or calm without storm
There has to be cold to be glad when you’re warm

Abandoned in darkness, you appreciate light
What is the day, if never the night

Who speaks of seat-and-blood, or earning your keep
If people never rest, no pleasure in sleep

No good without evil or joy without sorrow
No here and now without yesterday and tomorrow

We can’t have forever without having an end
It takes the pain-of-an-enemy to value the love –of-a- friend

Dichotomy describes everything we view
It seems our whole world is broken in two

And how could there be faith in a world without doubt
No need to believe if every fact is found out

You won’t sit on a chair If you think it will fold
Or step-out on a bridge If you think it won’t hold

Faith is the first step behind every deed
And faith is reward to teach us to need

God hopes in the end
We’ll knock on his door
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